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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar with a gun he says ""Which one of you bastards fucked my wife?"" and a small voice from the back of the room says ""You haven't got enough bullets"""

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog."

"On a scale from 1 to 10... What is the age of Jerry Sandusky's boyfriend?"

"*sleepy* *so sleepy* *SO SO sleepy* *brush my teeth* WIDE AWAKE."

"I was attacked by tiny bees.... The experience was belittling."

"I just hired a private investigator to find out what I do all day."

"Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2!"

"I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons."

"What is Polands national sport? Paintball"

"I present to you the world's shortest poem, entitled ""Fleas"". Adam had'em."