93568

Joke of the Day

"How to tell if your house is haunted... ...it isn't."

"""You've got a friend in me."" - Cannibals, probably"

"What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends? [offensive] A sandy hook survivor."

"After seeing the disaproval of gay Jokes I might as well say that handicap jokes are also horrible and rude. I just can't stand them."

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Mrs. Pac-Man, for 25c she swallowed balls until she died"

"[Staring deep into David Schwimmer's eyes] ""I'm afraid I only like you as a Friend"""

"Pornstar Lisa Ann has retired... I wonder if she read her contract and realised she was getting screwed..."

"What did the proctologist say when his nurse handed him a beer? ""I meant a butt light."""

"Elon Musk's new MasterCard Ad. Getting a person to Mars?: $100,000. Getting them back?: Priceless."

"The EU has said that more needs to be done to help the Syrian refugees, especially the children. May I recommend swimming lessons?"