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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was really excited about squishing a spider.. I told her she was turning into a cold blooded killer.."

"They should make another Taken film about how unappreciative Neesons' family is for saving them every other day Taken 4: Granted."

"Most of us get into advertising for the money. Me? I've just always had a passion for making people feel bad"

"The comeback, 'Get on my level' 'Get on my level' Reply: 'Okay dude, ill go downwards'"

"My uncles wife is a sex therapist. (Possibly NSFW?) I call her Aunty climax."

"Pig's explanation for the creation of the Universe: The Pig Bang Theory."

"11yo: Daddy, why can't we get a dog? Me: I like our house the way it is. 11: What, small? Me: Go to your drawer."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cantaloupe ! Cantaloupe who ? Cantaloupe with you tonight !"

"Asians offer Whites the secret to telling them apart. Whites accept but deliver message to the wrong Asian."

"Never seek the dead for guidance. They give really cryptic advice..."