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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was really excited about squishing a spider.. I told her she was turning into a cold blooded killer.."

"BUILD A MAN A FIRE... BUILD A MAN A FIRE AND HE'LL BE WARM FOR A DAY SET A MAN ON FIRE, HE'LL BE WARM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE."

"Necrophilia.. It puts the FUN in Funeral"

"the similarities between a wife and a grenade if you pull the ring off, the house is gone"

"Why did the laptop memory have such a hard time in school? Because he was SO-DIMM!"

"Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend? He told her he *can't elope*."

"How do you confuse a straight person? Tell them they're straight."

"What's it like living with Permanent Erection Disorder? Some days are harder than others."

"What is the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mom cant take a joke."

"Bought a shirt in the UK. Care instructions say ""iron whilst damp."" I still have no idea when to iron that thing."