198793

Joke of the Day

"Hey girl, are you the final scene in the Sopranos? Because"

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"*i put two straws in my drink* gf: awhh :) me: hell ya double barrel *i use both straws*"
"How do you keep a man in suspense?"
"What do ateists wear on their necks as an indication of their commitment to the atheism? Head."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
"Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song."
"Why wouldn't they let Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman"
"A few simple tips: 1. Don't promise when you're happy. 2. Don't reply when you're angry. 3. Don't decide when you're sad."
"when you drink too much, you may get whiskey dick. a less well known concern is when you use painkillers, however, and you get poppy-cock"
"Once you go black, you never go back... unless you're the White House."