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Joke of the Day

"Only in America would they name a state after a bucket of fried chicken."

"I'm not gonna be able to come out tonight I already sat down"

"I hold my iPhone up outside your window to play our song. A 90 second ad plays first."

"Text this to someone: I just love making you check your phone for no reason, who's my bi$ch? You are."

"The only time I'm like ""maybe god is real"" is when I'm eating really really good nachos."

"Sure, as a white man I can't say the n word... But I can say things like, ""thanks for the warning officer"" and ""hey dad""."

"If two feminists get drunk and hook up, were they both raped?"

"#NewSATQuestions Starbucks messed up Kate's order. Kate's white. How done is she? a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even"

"Tomorrow is Fathers Day. I heard iPad accessories are the big thing for Father's Day this year. I got my dad a leather case, a screen protector and a new charger. If he ever gets an iPad he's all set."

"When the TMNT Tell a Secret I wonder if when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tell a secret, they say Donatello anyone"