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Joke of the Day

"The Pope quit. Meteor in Russia. Snowing in Arizona. Star Wars and Star Trek have the same director. Who the hell is playing Jumanji?"

"Being the tallest person at work, leads me to believe they hired me because they were short staffed."

"Everytime I check my facebook I remember why i'm on Twitter."

"i like my women like i like my coffee silent"

"I love that all the Catholics are easy to single out today. Can't believe no one's tried publically marking people by religion before."

"My wife completely ignores me when she watches Grey's Anatomy......so I ordered the first 5 seasons."

"Do you know the story of a penguin that breathed with his ass? It sat down and died."

"If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?"

"I came up with a phrase for the female version of a dick pick. Slot shot."

"How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black? Ever try and take a rib from a black."