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Joke of the Day
"How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black? Ever try and take a rib from a black."
Next Joke
"Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety."
"2 hr flight, better buy 8 lbs of fruit and nut mix."
"[5:30AM] BRAIN: I'll just go to the bathroom, but keep my eyes closed so I don't wake up. BODY: I'll just clip my head on the door frame."
"How does Liam Neeson like his martini? Taken, not stirred."
"1) get drunk. 2) have sex. 3) leave taco bell. DONT TELL ME HOW TO PARTY!"
"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
"If I had a nickel for every hot woman at Ross I saw... I'd forget about all the money I made because I fucked them all."
"Old witch: Now I know you want a job with me. Do you tell lies? Young witch: No but I can pick it up."
"GEEK BOOTY CALL... FRESH AIR You're a breath of fresh air, just like my asthma inhaler!"