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Joke of the Day

"Meanwhile in business news... ...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate"

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"""What are you getting this Christmas?"" asked my friend. I said, ""Fatter."""
"I went for my interview to be a bus driver I told them 'Sorry I'm late' They said 'you're hired'"
"They should sell flags for fake countries so people can burn them without offending anyone."
"Me: ""Dad, I wanna to go to a 50 cent concert!"" Dad: ""Well here's a dollar, take your sister too."""
"7 out of 3 people are bad at fractions."
"What do you call an extremely constipated person? Whatever you like. They don't give a shit."
"The view of your Bedroom is perfect from this tree!"
"YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT."
"What did ron say when he got Hermione pregnant? Fetus deletus"
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