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Joke of the Day

"I wrote a book titled: How Dragons Are Greater Than Unicorns Daenerys Targaryen wrote the foreword. All she wrote was: No shit Sherlock!"

"Today's workout. Light weights. 1 hour parkouring rooftops on my block. It's surprising how many people have skylights in their bathrooms."

"You must be an angel, because your texture mapping is so divine!"

"My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her !"

"My wife sent me to the store to buy shampoo, conditioner, lotion and condoms. I'm pretty sure the cashier thinks I'm making a girlfriend."

"Accountants have the toughest job in Afghanistan because of the tally ban."

"What do you call a nun that is going for a walk? A roamin catholic"

"What did the Mexican guy say when the two houses fell on him? Get off me homes."

"Doctor, doctor, what did you say I had? Capricorn? - No, C a n c e r."

"Harrison Ford crashed because he saw three people urinating into one of the holes. See 3 pee O (C3PO)"