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Joke of the Day

"So my wife just hit me with a ""mom joke"". She says, ""oh look, there's whiteout conditions in Washington D.C. I bet Will Smith is gonna boycott""!"

"I stole some vegetables today I was out doing the grocery shopping earlier when I realised I really needed a piss. So I took a leek."

"A blonde walks into a bar. Ouch."

"Why is it so hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They're always taking things...literally."

"When you say, ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans,"" all I hear is, ""There's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"Why are ducks always sad? Because of their bills"

"The corner of this table hurt me and made me cry, so now we're dating"

"i look at my phone's 100% battery icon with the same fondness as proud parents watching their children bounce out of bed yelling ""pancakes!"""

"What does Donald Trump and a 12 year old have in common? They know a lot about hacking."

"I used to be in a band called Blank Cheque. After three years we were still unsigned."