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Joke of the Day
"I am finally going to stop procrastinating. Starting tomorrow..."
Next Joke
"A Stormtrooper tried to commit suicide yesterday."
"How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? ""I just need some space."""
"How to taste wine: 1. Slosh. 2. Smell. 3. Slosh. 4. Place ear over glass to hear the flavor. 5. Write short historical fiction starring wine"
"I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese"
"This goes with this goes with this goes with this goes with this goes with this goes with ... It`s two lepers getting themselves back together after some aggressive sex."
"I always think of doing things for charity. Then, I get back from making a sandwich and I see there are 43 new tweets. Sorry, starving kids!"
"A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""
"If you're dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!"
"George Washington Today What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now? Scratchin' the inside of his coffin."