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Joke of the Day

"I had to do a problem involving air resistance for my physics homework this week. It was a huge drag."

"One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, ""Please send me a sister."" Santa Clause wrote him back, ""Ok, send me your mother."""

"Anti Jokes How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!"

"If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you're angry about oxygen and numbers."

"Boss: Good suggestions at the staff meeting today, Bill. Me: I talk in my sleep?"

"How do you separate the men from the boys in Sparta? With a crowbar."

"I'll accept the 'fat fingers' excuse for typos but if you fuck up your/you're I'm going to need to see a doctor's note explaining your IQ."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Cut the brake lines on his Prius."

"Who takes the most drugs? The police."

"Where do Zika babies come from? A guy trying to get a little head."