195831

Joke of the Day

"I just wanna give a shout out to the ancients, for inventing the calendar. It has made my day"

"Van Gogh was never good at following directions. Everything that he was told simply went in one ear and out the- oh wait a minute..."

"You're so ugly....even the tide wouldn't take you out"

"Why did the composer spend all his time in bed? He wrote sheet music."

"I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep."

"What do you call someone that lives next a horse? Their neighbor"

"The sign down the highway said ""Don't be a turkey, don't text and drive"" They misspelled vegetable."

"Why do people say half a dozen? Why can't they just say Six"

"Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store? Because he didn't want toupee."

"What is the difference between a horse and a cabbage? I have never been hungry enough that I could eat a cabbage."