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Joke of the Day

"I have a class about water (filtration systems, how to give everyone clean water, etc) and my teacher loves jokes. Anyone have some good water related jokes?"

"- How much for the mobile tampon? - Ma'am? - It's a bit big. - Ma'am, it's a lamb. - Does it make that sound because it has detected blood?"

"Hey guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes, nobody likes you."

"A virgin nun gets pregnant.... And she's sure it's not a miracle pregnancy so she bursts into the priests chambers and yells out ""which of you fuckers has been wanking on the candles?"""

"A politician set out to create the most jobs Crime creates lots of jobs - police, insurance, repairs, medical if its violent crime, lawyers... and so was born the criminal nature of politicians."

"I'm late to this meeting cause I have a boner and can't get out of my car"

"Tonight a friend asked if he could crash on my couch. I had to explain to him i was married now and that's where i sleep."

"Oh, your pet loves you more than anyone else? No shit, if you controlled when I ate I'd be obsessed with you too."

"We are happily married She's happy, and I am married!"

"if you're happy and you know it... then the chemtrails are working Edit: credit to Welcome to Nightvale"