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Joke of the Day

"Do you want to know where the best place to buy drugs is? High Street of course!"

"My friend told me how electricity is measured and I was like Watt"

"Q: What happened when the teacher fell in the copier? A: She was beside herself."

"I have good taste, but I don't have the money to prove it."

"How much of this ""no more tears"" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?"

"Wife: ""If I died, would you remarry?"" Me: ""Yup."" Wife: ""And you'd even let her use my golf clubs??"" Me: ""No silly! She's left handed."""

"[Eating] Waiter: How's the meal? Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ..."

"a lady was like ""can you believe he's 14 months old already"" and i am like you know what i can cause you post a pic of him every single day"

"I'd like the chicken-fried steak, please."" Uh lemme get back to you *runs to kitchen* YO WE GOT ANY CHICKENS THAT KNOW HOW TO FRY A STEAK"

"A guy has sex with Sarah Mclachlan... A guy has sex with Sarah Mclachlan. After hearing about this, his friend says ""So, what was it like to be in the arms of an angel?"""