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Joke of the Day

"[on game show] Choose a door for a goat or a new car ""I'll take door #2"" You've won the car! *sees it's a Kia* ""Can I have the goat instead"""

"There is no more horrible death than the one of a poor tree that ends up being a Twilight book."

"Good thing Brazil won...otherwise I'm pretty sure they would've just cancelled the rest of the World Cup."

"Hitler killed... six million Jews..."

"u mad bro? or just disappointed bro?"

"Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions."

"Jesus: Behold my powers. *walks onto water and falls in* [back in heaven] God: HAHAHAHAHA Angel: HAHAHAHA ""behold my powers"" God: HAHAHAHA"

"There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't."

"Joke's on you, jerk that sold me oregano instead of weed. I was going to make pizza sauce anyway."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno business!"