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Joke of the Day

"What do you and Ronda Rousey have in common? You will both be watching the next title fight from home."

"I'm not sure churches are the best places for PokeStops... a priest just asked me in and offered me a Slowpoke edit: whoops, rip inbox. don't get sucked in by priests, kiddies."

"I went to the store today and seen this sausage begging her mom for an overly expensive purse. She then began to cry when her mother said no.. What a brat"

"Only God can judge me. *gets hit by lightning*"

"Why do they write PIZZA all over the box???? what else could possibly be in there???"

"I left my iPhone 7 in my car seat When I came back, the car window was broken. Someone had left another iPhone 7 in my car. So not fair!"

"I always give away all my dead batteries ... ... free of charge."

"Happy Birthday, Jesus! The lawn looks great, thanks!"

"There are rumors that Robert Pattinson from the ""Twilight"" movies may be the next Indiana Jones. If there is one thing I want with my rugged action heroes, it's a little bit of sparkle!"

"what % of the time are birds just chilling"