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Joke of the Day

"Why do they write PIZZA all over the box???? what else could possibly be in there???"

"""If he told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?"" ""No, because i'm not fucking crazy mom."""

"I have a new theory about the most effective way to sabotage condoms... ... but you'll probably just poke holes."

"TIFU by mixing up my sub order at subway. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Why did the pasta chef take his car into the body shop? Cause it got al dente'd up!"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! ... I'll show my way out"

"I wonder if the username ""That Cab"" is free, cause a lot of people would want to follow ""That Cab"""

"What is it called when Batman skips church? Christian Bale"

"Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back."

"Helping my kid memorize a list of cities and accidentally wrote a Pitbull song."