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Joke of the Day

"I'm a vegetarian. Subway gave me a Chicken Club. Oops, wrong sub."

"I secretly replaced my husbands coffee with the empty toilet paper roll he left in the bathroom. Let's see if he notices."

"""Dad. Dad. DAD! Please just come home. You promised us you'd stop after Volume 46."" - Creator of NOW! That's What I Call Music's children"

"The human soul weighs 1.2lbs. I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into my job."

"I am so lazy that when I dropped the soap in the shower, I just sat down & took a bath. That was 2 hours ago. I'm still here."

"I am 20, Male, Dyslexic and love cockporn with lots of butter of course!"

"You know how birds fly in a V and sometimes one side is longer than the other? You know why that is? It's because there are more birds on that side."

"What did the candy say as they saw a group of intimidating crackers approach? Cheez It!"

"I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing."

"Gary Coleman just died. Life is short. He died of multiple aneurysms. Different Strokes."