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Joke of the Day
"What are caterpillars afraid of? **Dog**erpillars!"
Next Joke
"What's the point of making a whistle only rapists can hear?"
"HOW TO BECOME A CRAZY CAT LADY: 1) Get a cat. 2) Repeat."
"I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor"
"Turned off my lights for ""earth hour"". I've never had so many other cars honking at me."
"How do you make an archeologist blush? Give them a dirty tampon and ask what period its from."
"Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Husband: This relationship is what? Over."
"Celebrating christmas in another country, santa leaves a chicken cutlet in my boot. ""Is that good?"" No one will make eye contact with me."
"Smoked some weed the other night with some foreign dudes, massive language barrier... We got Rosetta Stoned."
"The best thing to do on New Years Eve is set the microwave timer with the countdown so the first thing that happens that year is Pizza Rolls"