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Joke of the Day

"A barber, a hairdresser, and bigfoot walk into a bar... You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time."

"What do you call an edible ion? An onion"

"Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born."

"Q: Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together? A: They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!"

"I would love my job so much more if I didn't have to hide my flask."

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with yelling ""I HAVE THE POWEEER!"" like He-Man after cooking an omelette that doesnt stick to the pan."

"Can we install an *eyeroll* button on twitter?"

"My girlfriend and I finally decided to try out role-play in the bedroom. I dressed up like Luke Skywalker And she pretended to be a dead fish."

"Nice try, self check out lanes. There's not even any mirrors."

"I hope my neighbors follow me on Twitter cause their car's lights are on."