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Joke of the Day

"wife on facebook: homework with 9, he's doing so well! wife to me: it took him 8 tries to spell cake. CAKE. grab some wine on your way home"

"What do the twin towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now."

"I wonder if anyone ever told Hitler ""just be yourself""."

"bleakest Russian joke i know ""children! Your father hanged himself for some peace and quiet, not so you could have a swing-set!"""

"German Chinese food is great but it only has one problem. An hour later you're hungry for power."

"Imagine the most awkward thing you've ever experienced & it pales in comparison to watching me try to pass someone walking."

"Go buy a burrito, leave it in your fridge, get drunk, come home and be your own best secret admirer."

"What happens when you put the energizer bunny's battery's in backwards? He keeps coming and coming and coming."

"How lost members does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"Why does 71 like 68? Because 68 69 70."