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Joke of the Day

"Am I annoying yet? How about now? Now? Now? Now? How about now? Now? Now? Now? Maybe now? Now? Now? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow? Meow?"

"I just started watching a documentary about Abu Hamza... I'm hooked!"

"If I were a woman, I'd probably say things like ""gotta go polish the petunia"" and then back my car into a mailbox."

"Horses are very contrarian... No matter what you ask them, all they say is ""neigh."""

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to start the journey from I Can't Breathe Without You to I'll Choke You Out In Public."

"Good woman joke What do you tell a woman with two black eyes. Nothing you already told her twice."

"Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!"

"Michael Schumacher has spoken out about global warming, in a statement he said ""Things are getting pretty bad, just yesterday I was skiing and when I woke up this morning it was summer"""

"What did earth say to the other planets? Wow, you guys have no life."

"I think we should line up all the presidential candidates and see which one a dog doesn't bark at. That person should become president."