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Joke of the Day

"Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!"

"It's so weird how everyone's taste buds are different, but only mine are right."

"How do mussels reproduce? They shuck eachother."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seat-belt. Credit goes to some caller on the Dean Blundell show. I couldn't make that up"

"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"Q. Why do men like smart women? A. Opposites attract."

"Why did Sodium Chloride get arrested? Assault."

"What do the alphabet A and a flower have in common? B comes after both."

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs."

"How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season? Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone."