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Joke of the Day

"Taking my dog out in below zero weather brings one thought to mind. I should have gotten a cat."

"I have a flight to catch but there is a cat on my lap"

"My hearing loss in both ears"

"Is it just me, or does hamstring sound delicious?"

"FINALS TIP: Create a reward system to help you study. For example, if you spend 1 hour studying, reward yourself with 72 hours of Netflix."

"Why did the termite eat a sofa and two chairs? It had a suite tooth."

"What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ? Santa Claustrophobia !"

"You know what they say about killing bees... It's a real buzzkill."

"16: My friend is coming to get something while we're gone. Me: Should we leave a key? 16: No, she'll just go thru the doggie door again."

"Think of a number. Realize that number will never think of you too. Lay on your bathroom floor and sob."