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Joke of the Day

"I got security cameras fitted outside my house. Just to convince people that I have stuff worth stealing."

"Being a courteous dinner guest, I always offer to do the dishes. I'm not the one who's going to eat off them next. Quick rinse works for me."

"I get asked all the time why I play in a gay basketball league It's because I love going up and down the hardwood."

"She said yes! Unfortunately, the question was ""Are you sure you want to break up?"""

"What do you call Squidward when he gives DNA results for a living? You call 'im Maury. :)"

"If I was a doctor I would scare my patients by pretending to go check google every time they asked me a question"

"Catch her by her waist... Bring her home.. Keep ur hand on her neck Put ur lips on her lips & have a ... ...nice drink...PEPSI"

"What did the U.S president say before starting WW3? Nukes... You're fired!"

"How do you measure love? In hertz!"

"Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?"