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Joke of the Day

"Nothing is more frightening than accidentally making eye contact with a guy who runs a mall kiosk."

"What should you do if you're being attacked by a gang of clowns? Go for the juggler!"

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. I should have cooked it at Aloha temperature."

"[loudly so dad who's been depressed since mom left can hear] Oh no, my GPS broke! If only I had some good DRIVING DIRECTIONS *dad looks up*"

"I joined the DNA this week . . . The National Dyslexic Authority"

"My dad's favorite composer is Beethoven's little brother... Covetoven. Get it? DO YOU?"

"I found a ten dollar bill on the ground once and thought, ""This is as good as it's ever going to get. Buy some relish."""

"What do you call transgender Hershey's chocolate? Himshey's chocolate..."

"I made this girl fall in love with me textually. She said she wanted to # me @ her place."

"How do you greet the cold horse across the fence? Howdy Neigh - Brr Made up by my 4 year old son."