13122
Joke of the Day
"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. I should have cooked it at Aloha temperature."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend said she was cutting off sex for a while. I told her that is fine, we will just have more rape."
"Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning. I was crestfallen."
"Kelloggs is introducing a new Game of Thrones inspired breakfast cereal. Oberyn Crunch."
"A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, ""I don't know. It all happened so fast."""
"*makes 58008 on an abacus and turns it upside down* dammit"
"Super hot girl working the snack stand at the theater ... and I just ordered a ""cockporn with extra butter"". Thanks brain."
"I bet you 5390.24$ you can't guess how much money I owe my parents."
"Billion Dollar Idea: Child-Cancelling Headphones"
"I'm participating in a 0.25K run to raise awareness for people with attention deficit disorder."