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Joke of the Day

"Why does Daenerys take so long to get places? She keeps *dragon* her feet."

"I accidentally swallowed some scrabble pieces. My next shit could spell disaster."

"What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist? A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves."

"What's the first thing the pope did after resigning? Asked Jerry Sandusky for his lil black book."

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?!"" ""SELF-CONFIDENCE!"" ""WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!"" *everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*"

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? Give the bitch a shovel."

"Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box."

"At a recent meeting at the Vatican the pope joked ""I've never seen so many priests in one room"" I guess he's never been to a kids party then"

"Regular naps prevent aging... Especially if you take them while driving."

"Had this weird dream last night that I was Superman, but I was only able to fly really low to the ground because I'm chubby."