92076

Joke of the Day

"I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like you. But sometimes I put both my legs in the same pant leg and pretend I'm a mermaid."

"I hate it when I'm trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera."

"What do gay horses eat? Cock"

"In 8th grade I had to take care of an egg to teach me responsibility. That egg hatched, and I raised the chicken as my own. He was delicious"

"I guess the Tupperware lids in my house just graduate and go off to college or something."

"What workout routine did Jesus stick to best? Crossfit"

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? ...pick it up and suck it's dick."

"Why are Nazis so good at math? They always come up with the final solution."

"A rock flying through the hemisphere is called an Asteroid. A lump on your ass is called a Hemorrhoid...... If you think of it,Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"A man walks into a crowded bar brandishing a gun... The man yells out ""WHOS BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE???"" A few moments later, a man in the back yells back ""YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH BULLETS!""."