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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a toad and a horny toad? A toad says rib-it, rib-it. A horny toad says rub-it, rub-it."

"To determine a rabbit's sex from afar, try sneaking up on them and shouting: if he runs, it's a boy. If *she* runs, it's a girl."

"I saw a slim white guy in a dark alley that was so shady but funny... ..so funny and shady in fact, that if you saw him in a room full of ready to laugh people sitting down, he'd stand up."

"Why did the train kill people? It had a loco-motive."

"I am so old I need a selfie stick to read my own phone."

"What did the Mama cow say to the baby cow? It's pasture bedtime."

"[text] ""Hey"" Hi. ""I'm just laying in bed thinking about you."" This is your mom. ""New phone who dis?"" Eric, that doesn't work. You texted me."

"*jumps into volcano as sacrifice* *volcano spits me back out*"

"Did you see that crazy news story on the internet? Of course. You reddit"

"I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night... ...the handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket."