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Joke of the Day
"As a neat freak I'm only comfortable giving a girl a Clean Sanchez."
Next Joke
"""911 what's your emergency"" IM DYING ""what happened"" I GOT STABBED LIKE 3 TIMES ""lol pics or didn't happen"""
"whoever thinks money doesn't bring happiness, transfer it to my account."
"What Do You Call a Bearded Man Whose Idea of Paradise is 72 Virgins? Richard Branson."
"In LGBTQ families... We need more transparency."
"Now, if you all will excuse me I'm going into my closet and I'm not coming out until I find something with an elastic waist..."
"Red, White, and Blue are the colors of Freedom... ... Until they're flashing behind your car."
"What do you get when you cross Captain America with The Incredible Hulk? A star-spangled banner"
"""It's so hot outside..."" ""...that I poured McDonald's hot coffee on my lap just to cool off."""
"I was in a second hand shop. ""I was wondering if you had any condoms?"" I asked the owner. ""Don't be ridiculous,"" he remarked, ""Of course not."" I said, ""You're a brave guy, I like your style."""