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Joke of the Day

"""It's so hot outside..."" ""...that I poured McDonald's hot coffee on my lap just to cool off."""

"Liam Gallagher was never good in science. When asked to name 3 chemical elements, he said ""Gold and silver and sunshine."""

"""Mommy, why does an old person's skin look so see-through?"" Aw, honey, it's just because they are getting ready to be a ghost. Sleep tight."

"I looked at the calendar and thought, ""It's been one of those days today."""

"MICKEY & DONALD IN A FOXHOLE Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked."

"Did you grow up on a farm? Cause I want to wear you like a feed bag!"

"--Wanna go rubbing in the park tomorrow with me? Thanks auto correct, this is why I can't have nice friends."

"the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals."

"Why did the dinosaur walk on two legs? To give the ants a chance."

"I'm watching my 4 year old son give my 1 year old a hammer. He is so irresponsible."