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Joke of the Day

"What kind of lotion does a bullfighter use? Oil of Ole'"

"You really have to respect the male pornstars They're always working hard"

"I like my women like I like my toasters... Two warm holes and never leaves the kitchen."

"Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake? It wasn't his fault."

"Sorry I romantically ran a seagull feather across your lips."

"Walked in lecture hall mid-lecture and the professor yells ""CAN I HELP YOU?!"" ""No thanks, I'm just browsing."""

"If the entire observable universe was located inside an impossibly large man named Bob... then 9/11 was inside bob."

"I accidentally emailed my essay to the 3D printer It came out as a piece of shit"

"I went to that restaurant you said I had to try. It fucking sucked."

"Me: Go ahead. Waiter: Huh? Me: You're staring at my hair. Go ahead & touch it. Waiter: There's a leaf in it."