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Joke of the Day

"If the entire observable universe was located inside an impossibly large man named Bob... then 9/11 was inside bob."

"Dr: ... Me: ... D: ... M: ... D: *sighs* Did you stick an orange up your rectum M: No *orange falls out onto floor* D: ... M: *mumbles* yes"

"You scream, I scream.... The cops come, its awkward."

"What do you name a girlfriend you haven't had for a long time? Palmela Handerson"

"What could you do if you were on a desert island without food or water? Open your watch: drink from the spring and eat the sand which is (sandwiches) there."

"why cant Ray Charles see his friends?? Because he's married."

"My vegan friend asked me if I've met his new girlfriend I said I've never seen herbivore"

"What do you get if you genetically crossed a rabbit and an oyster? A Nobel Prize"

"What did the U.S airdrop the the children of Syria? Dead parents"

"Wanted to tweet ""I'm hella tired"" but my phone keeps autocorrecting ""hella"" to ""REALLY? HELLA? YOU ARE A GROWN-ASS LADY, KNOCK IT OFF."""