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Joke of the Day

"Man goes to the doctor ""Doc, doc, the area around the entrance on my butt is a little itchy"" ""I think you mean the exit........."""

"I found a bunch of money I didn't know I had while cleaning for company... ...it was like Christmas."

"You hear about the incredulous Japanese man who didn't cry at his own father's funeral? Poor guy couldn't bereave it."

"I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then."

"Why don't women propose to men? Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring."

"When BP says, ""We have the spill under control"" is the new ""I promise not to come inside you."""

"I once caught my ex-girlfriend putting acorns into her vagina... She was fucking nuts."

"Puts fitbit on dogs collar. Throws the ball around. Sits on the couch and eat chips. Wins all the challenges"

"Why did the zombie turtle have so much trouble dancing? Rigor tortoise."

"Did you hear about the guy who kept fucking cheerios? He was a cereal rapist"