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Joke of the Day

"I was watching the film, 'A Perfect Murder,' with my wife She told me she was getting scared. ""Is it the storyline?"" I asked. ""Not really,"" she replied. ""Stop taking notes."""

"chewing tobacco must've been a hard sell: Do you like nicotine but hate smoke but love to spit smelly wet chunks of leaves? Well guess what"

"I'm organising an event to help raise awareness of male sexual dysfunction, particularly a failure to climax. If you can't come, let me know."

"There are 10 types of people in this world.... Those who understand Binary numbers, and those who don't."

"How is marriage and CPR training the same? You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again"

"What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office."

"Question on my Visa Application ""have you ever been convicted of a crime ?"" followed by ""explain why""... so I put ""no"" and ""good lawyer."

"My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes."

"How do you make a cat go woof Throw it in a fire (i know i know dad joke)"

"Why did the nun swear when she got her new outfit? It was a bad habit."