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Joke of the Day

"Are you all right ? No, you are all left"

"If you're forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you've got another Thing coming."

"What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids? A real hootenanny!"

"All day people keep mentioning the new 20 dollar bills I check my wallet everytime somebody mentions it and mine are all still Jackson."

"My favorite religion is that one that doesn't try to force their beliefs on you. What's that one called again?"

"Horse walks into a bar Bartender ""why the long face?"""

"My wife's got a latex allergy, so I substituted the condom for a bread bag. Now she's got a yeast infection."

"We are family, even though you're fatter than me Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, ""We are family, even though you're fatter than me."" -"

"My friend and I tried to start an erectile dysfunction club... ...but it flopped and nobody came."

"Babies are very like governments, you know. Constant appetite at one end, constant mess at the other. And they only ever get bigger."