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Joke of the Day

"yo momma so stupid she ordered a phone from a catalogue, then when she got it, rang the the catalogue up to ask where it is"

"Hi reddit, I'm a Japanese pearl diver! AMA."

"Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)"

"How do you reload a cardboard gun? With paper clips."

"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick Especially since his name is Steve"

"What was written on the UNIX user's doormat? ""There's no place like cd ~"""

"Whats long, green, and smells like pork? Kermits finger"

"What is an aliens favorite keyboard key The space key"

"Equally cool alternatives to air guitar: Air slap bass Air harmonica Silent pig auctions Balloons hitting people The letter Q"

"Ughh so pissed off. My mail order bride is pretending she doesn't speak english just so she doesn't have to wear the jester outfit again."