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Joke of the Day

"If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism."

"What are the most common 3 words used all around the world? Made in China."

"TIL NBC had a show with the entire premise being an orangutan being a political advisor They decided to call it ""late night with conan o'brien"""

"Did you hear ISIS is in Italy now? Italian ISIS... I'll show myself out."

"Why did the cook go to jail? He was caught beating the egg"

"Why was Game Of Thrones banned from twitter? Because twitter has an 140 character limit."

"Q: ""Have you heard about the new pirate movie?"" A: ""It's rated aaarrrrrrrr."""

"A man was found pouring dozens of bags of frozen peas into the grave of his dead wife. He wanted her to rest in peas."

"I was going to post that I'm in Nebraska but Foursquare didn't have the location ""Someone shoot me in the face"" listed."

"So someone dropped a Chinese baby in a toilet? My advice is to pop it in a bag of rice overnight..."