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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when two lawyers have sex ? A Binding contract that you can't pull out of ... Edit And their are no loop holes other than your client having piercings."

"I've done some pretty stupid things while I've been drunk, but in alcohol's defense, I've done a lot of pretty stupid things sober, too."

"No one knows if you're cool when you're a jew because backwards yarmulkes look the same as normal ones"

"My friend was really worried when he had to get tested for HIV. I told him just think positive."

"Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man? On charges of ""impersonating a police officer""."

"What's the difference in a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a Garbanzo bean on my face before."

"Don't you hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the shower."

"My dad told me this one: What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and 50 nuns? 100 people who don't do dick."

"What is a monkeys favorite candy? Rhesus species"

"I Swear, These Jell-o Products Just Keep Getting Worse... It's almost like they're pudding in less effort. I'll see myself out."