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Joke of the Day

"Why did God invent the yeast infection? To show girls what it's like to live with an annoying cunt."

"What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAAAAINS!"

"I'm in a long-distance relationship My girlfriend lives in the future."

"Why did Raekwon tha Chef get fired from his job at an oyster bar? Cuz Wu Tang Clan got nuttin' to shuck with."

"Why was the lightning bug unhappy? Because her children were not very bright."

"You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire."

"What's Batman's least favourite album? A Night at the Opera."

"Call a woman beautiful a hundred times... Call a woman beautiful hundred times, and she won't remember. But call her fat just *one* time, and she'll never forget. Because elephants never forget."

"Why does green think yellow is such a slut? Because yellow blue red."

"David Cameron didn't do much as the Prime Minister of the UK But Theresa May."