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Joke of the Day

"I'm in a long-distance relationship My girlfriend lives in the future."

"Why did the elephant paint its nails red? So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!"

"What did the farmer say when someone pooped into his water source? Well shit..."

"Why do people nickname Cersei's kids after sandwich meats? Because they're both in bread"

"EA Games and Ubisoft walk into a bar... Act now and for just $49.99 you too can experience the intensity and originality of this punchline!"

"Don't make fun of a fat man with a lisp. He is probably thick and tired of it"

"Bored? Sneak a dog into the movies and loudly explain the plot to the dog"

"Are you going to take a bath? No I'm leaving it where it is."

"[ Boyfriend walks into the room ] Well, well, well....if it isn't the boy who tried to break up with me in a dream last night."

"There's a new wheelchair party forming But it doesn't really stand for anything. (At least it'll always have a spokes person)"