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Joke of the Day

"I heard that you only use like 10% of your brain. That leaves what, 82-83%?"

"What do you call a sick russian? A sicka blyat"

"French Guns for sale! Never Fired, dropped only once."

"when nothing goes right... go left"

"What did the snail on the turtles back say? WEEEEEEEEEE!"

"A Jewish joke (as told by Sigmund Freud) One Jew says to another, ""Have you taken a bath?"" The other replies: ""No. Is one missing?"" From *Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious*"

"So my dad dropped this on my mom this morning Mom - ""You know the neighbor always kisses his wife every morning before work. Why don't you do the same?"" Dad - ""How can I? I barely know her!"""

"Great, so a week ago my doctor gave me a letter, which confirmed that I have dyslexia... and now I've received one that says I have tiny tits. Oh no wait, tinnitus."

"What do elephants sing at christmas ? Noel-ephants Noel-ephants..."

"I love how we vote for sheriff. How the hell should I know? ""Let me talk to a few criminals and see who they think is scariest."""