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Joke of the Day

"I heard that you only use like 10% of your brain. That leaves what, 82-83%?"

"Girls and square roots have one thing in common... If they are under 13, do 'em in your head."

"I can't tell if the vegans upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak."

"Alien joke. I feel sorry for the aliens....that live in the third world country."

"I got arrested for running out of gas on the highway. I told the cop I was on E."

"The average family income has gone up 2% while the cost of living has increased 23%. - Me explaining to my son why he can't have a sister."

"A man walks into a bar and tells a joke that has been posted on reddit before. I only know because no one would shut the fuck up about it."

"He died doing what he loved. He didn't know she was married."

"Im a guy who's into BDSM, necrophilia, and beastiality. Am i just flogging a dead horse?"

"Splinter: Leo. Mikey: I'm Michelangelo. That's Leo. Donny: I'm Donatello. That's Leo. Leo: I thought I was Raphael. - Why they wear masks"