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Joke of the Day

"Toy Story (1995) - A cowboy & a deluded astronaut battle over who gets to sleep with a 6-year-old boy."

"Heard this in an Indian soap opera.. Boy: Are you from England? Girl: Yeah! How'd you know? Boy: You are so beautiful, I just thought."

"If u drink the blue liquid from a Magic 8-Ball u can see the future trust me my friend Keith did once & said he was gonna die & then he did"

"I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments...wait. Band. I was in the marching band."

"Knock knock.. (feat. My 9yo brother) Knock knock.. \*sigh..\* Who's there? Interrupting doctor Interrupting doct-- You have cancer."

"How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb? Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea..."

"How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, that's a Mexican's job."

"Today I got chased by a thief trying to steal my wallet.. I managed to get away, but he definitely gave me a good run for my money!"

"""The more the merrier!"" usually means ""oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"""

"? Hey there Delilah, this is dispatch please come quickly There's a robbery in progress Suspect is white & in his 50s And high on gluuue ?"