130758

Joke of the Day

"I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez."

"Did you hear about the Dick that graduated from Law School? He was appointed first attorney genital."

"Two trucks carrying thesauruses got in a wreck... Onlookers were aghast, amazed, appalled, astonished, astounded, dismayed, offended, shocked, stunned, upset..."

"There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't."

"How does Hilary Clinton clean her glasses? By wiping the mainframe."

"Support the war on crack. Stop wearing low rise jeans."

"What did the cannibal ask for in his burrito? Human beans"

"Why didn't Toronto's mayor tell us earlier about his drug use? It must have fallen through a crack."

"THe newiest Knock Knock joke I heard. - Knock Knock - Who's there? - First pilot. hopefully not too soon"

"What happens when a midget smokes weed? He gets medium."