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Joke of the Day

"What hurts? When a man with a boner runs against a wall. And what is embarrassing? When his nose touches the wall first."

"I dunno why people say hurtful things like... ""Wanna go for a run?"" or ""Try this kale."""

"I was in bed with my boyfriend Ernie last night, and he said to me ""Soph, you got no tits and a tight box."" I said to him ""Ernie get off my back."" h/t: Bette Midler"

"Me: Is that seat taken? You: You are pointing at my face... Me: I know."

"Why do people make fun of me because I've never grabbed a girl's boobs? I still don't get tit."

"What is a gentleman monkey? A gentleman monkey is a monkey that won't monkey around with another monkey's monkey."

"This kid was up late doing his work... not on reddit. not posting to /r/jokes Edit: That's a lie."

"""No crackers in bed!"" - Racist black parents"

"""I need to find somewhere to park,"" I told my wife. ""What about over there?"" she said. ""I can't,"" I replied, ""It says between 1 and 9 only."" ""Well, why is that stopping you?"" ""I'm 23."""

"I prefer to date a man after I see how well he treats his wife."