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Joke of the Day

"There was a pedophile being sought out by the community... Apparently saying ""somebody please think of the children"" was the wrong thing to say."

"Where was the declaration of independence signed? At the bottom."

"I loved John Hurt so much... that I'm not even going to make the joke that my heart John Hurts right now. Even though it would make me feel better."

"Trump was recently asked his opinion on Roe vs. Wade... He thought it was two different ways to get across the Potomac."

"Did you hear the Joke they don't tell retards... No, Oh my bad."

"I'm convinced when squirrels run the road, nearly missing your car, it must be some kind of squirrel gang initiation."

"Life got you down? Just remember that you will never be as confused and sad as the friends and relatives of the world's first clown."

"What's the difference between ISIS and a piece of shit? I don't know any difference either."

"They told me to imagine a guy holding a jug full of water. But I just couldn't pitcher it."

"What do you call a number that can't keep still? A roamin' numeral."