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Joke of the Day

"I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a crying baby. Apparently that's not allowed if it's yours."

"What was Beethoven's girlfriend's name? Bae-thoven. I'll^see^myself^out."

"Why shouldn't you eat meat from pot smoking cows? Because the steaks are too high."

"Attributed to Mr Rogers... ...supposedly told by him to a FOAF on his first day on the job as a cameraman on Mr Rogers Neighborhood. Knock knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? No, fuck WHOM."

"seX I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""

"Every time I see Air Tran I think of Air Tranny and then I think of a deep voiced stewardess coming up and saying, ""Nuts?"""

"This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer"

"Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course? Because it's a crime to drink and drive."

"I had an idea for a fighting game.. But turns out, it was tekken"

"LPT: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine into your brain,and that's where shitty ideas come from."