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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock Who's there? A broken Pencil. A broken Pencil who? ..... Never mind its pointless"

"New study says glasses help with math. Apparently they are good for davision"

"Usain Bolt and I have a lot in common I can run for less than 10 seconds and enjoy smoking Degrasse"

"So a horse walks into a bar... And the bartender says, ""why the long face?"" To which the horse replies, ""I'm a raging alcoholic and it's destroying my family."""

"I know it's gross, but the only time it's acceptable to shout 'I have diarrhoea' is when playing scrabble. Because it's worth a shit load of points. - Zach Galifianakis."

"My dad dressed up as The Invisible Man today He's had the costume on for the last 20 years"

"""did you hear the one about the grizzly who-"" dude stop ""it's just a joke man"" i know it's stupid but- *points to my date* bear with me"

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you - scum again."

"What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on? ""Spraint your ankle!"" Just in case: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spraint"

"Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man? On charges of ""impersonating a police officer""."